I decided to just write a title, whatever came to mind, and this seemed apropos for the cooler weather we have been experiencing these last couple of days (and especially nights…brrrr!!).
So, here we are, end of Monday, first day on the bandwagon. I have been here many times. As I referenced last evening in my post, it is not the starting of stuff that I have trouble with, it is the consistent, daily behaviours (correct British spelling) of keeping it going…I score very low in follow through. Once the shine has dimmed and the new becomes normal, I tend to lose interest. Not a great personal attribute and one that has had huge impact on my life, to date.
I believe life is about working to be better. Better today, than yesterday and hopefully, even better, tomorrow. With that in mind, I am going to use my time here to dig a little into some of my ‘stuff’ – barriers and road blocks.
Now don’t get me wrong – I have many strengths, as well. None of us are painted with one brush stroke and all possess wonderful characteristics and some, not-so-great-attributes. I don’t intend to spend my few daily moments here in self deprecation.
I am proud of myself for starting. I made sure I was up early. Was out for my walk @ 7:30 am. Had a somewhat productive day with work. Ate well – Whole 30 level well 🙂 and if you must know, put on a nicotine patch. I haven’t considered myself a smoker for over 7 years but last summer fell of that wagon for a couple / three weeks and moved to nicotine gum to ward off the evil temptress…problem is, that was a year ago and I was still chewing away…making excuses and validating my actions with the notion that it is better than smoking…which it is…but I need to rid my old body of any level of nicotine addiction and am hopeful that by using the patch, I can ween off the gum…frig… 🙂
I want to be a healthier, more content version of myself. For the most part, I like myself. I am a pretty cool cat (or so I think!) but have never really spent (for a plethora of reasons) a great deal of time digging into my own person. Understanding where some of my fears, inhibitions and barriers are stemming from and at the ripe age of 50, think it is about time, I start to figure some of this out.
So, if we want to use my title as an analogy – I, too, feel as if I have stepped over a threshold from summer to fall…but I don’t want to slip or slide…I want to skip 🙂